Husband Wife Jokes

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge. Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi. Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija ........................................................................................................... Pati patni mandir main! Pati-tumne kya manga? Patni-Ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe. Patni-Aur aapne. Pati-Ye mera saatwa janam ho. ........................................................................................................... Wife: India jao to saarhee bhejna, Dubai jao to jewelry, France jao to perfume!! Husband ne jal ke kaha, Or dozakh jaon to kia bhejon? Wife: APNI VIDEO  ........................................................................................................... Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai? Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi. .......................................................................................................... Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho. Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.  .......................................................................................................... Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon. Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!! .......................................................................................................... Pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon. Patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.  .......................................................................................................... Patni:-kyon jab main moti hojaaungi,tab bhi tum mujhe aise hi pyaar karoge? Pati:-bilkul nahin, maine sirf such dukh main saath dene ka vaada kiya tha.  .......................................................................................................... pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain. patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge? pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.   .......................................................................................................... patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho. pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho. patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon! pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon  .......................................................................................................... Patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?” pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”  .......................................................................................................... Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty. pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.  .......................................................................................................... Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu. Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.  .......................................................................................................... Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega. Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon.  .......................................................................................................... Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi. Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.  .......................................................................................................... Husband wife ki godi me leta hua tha, Wife – kesa lag raha he ji? Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.  .......................................................................................................... kya larki thi... Shohar: Kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi, Wah! kya larki thi. Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi? Shohar: Tumko kese pata: Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main tha.  .......................................................................................................... Pyar b ajab shay he Maa se payar hota hai to Ebadat Baap se payar hota hai  to Muqadas Bhai se payar hota hai  to Aqidat Didi  se payar hota hai ho to Farz & Wife  se payar  hota hai  to sab kehte hen k SALA BIWI ka GHULAM H     hain  .......................................................................................................... Santa: Kal Raat Nu Film Vich Ik Chudail Kade Mere Agge Kade Mere Piche Ghummi Ja Rai Si, Banta: Kehri Film Si…? Santa: Mere Viah Di Movie.  .......................................................................................................... Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein 15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho? Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao...  .......................................................................................................... Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai. Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

10 of Gandhi's Memorable Quot

Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948), political and spiritual leader of India. Location unknown.

October 2 saw the birthday of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, better known as Mahatma Gandhi. The Indian luminary, famous for leading the Indian nation to independence in peaceful means, is deemed an inspirational figure to this day, over 60 years after his death in 1948.
As a tribute to Gandhi, here’s a collection of some of his thought-provoking quotes.

1.
ON LIFE
"My life is my message."

2.
ON BEING A SOLDIER
“I regard myself as a soldier, though a soldier of peace.“

3.
ON FAITH IN HUMANITY
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

4.
ON NONVIOLENCE
“Nonviolence is the first article of my faith. It is also the last article of my creed.”

5.
ON THE SEVEN SINS
“Seven social sins: politics without principles, wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, and worship without sacrifice."

6.
ON TRUTH
“An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it. Truth stands, even if there be no public support. It is self sustained.”

7.
ON THE "STILL SMALL VOICE"
“The only tyrant I accept in this world is the 'still small voice' within me. And even though I have to face the prospect of being a minority of one, I humbly believe I have the courage to be in such a hopeless minority.”

8.
ON LIBERTY
“I’m a lover of my own liberty, and so I would do nothing to restrict yours.”

9.
ON FORGIVENESS
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

10.
ON THE NATURE OF MAN
“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."

Raksha Bandhan SMS for Sister

Na Papa KE Maar Se Na Dosto KI Fatkar Se,
Na Ladki K Inkar Se,
Na Chappalo K Bochar Se,
Aap Jaise Ashiq Sudhrenge
Sirf “RAKHI” k tyohar se


Khuda Kare Tujhe Khushiyan Hazaar Mile,
Mujhse Bhi Achcha Yaar Mile,
Meri Girlfriend Tujhe Bandhe RAKHI,
Aur Ek AUR Behan Ka Pyaar Mile...
Raksha Bandhan SMS Collection in Hindi

Jhula Bahon Ka Aaj Bhi Do Na Mujhe
Jhula Bahon Ka Aaj Bhi Do Na Mujhe
Bhaiyaa Goud Mein Uthao Na Aaj Mujhe
Kad Se Hoon Badi Mann Se Chhoti Main
Aaj Bhi Maan Lo Na Zid Meri.


CHANDAN ki lakri foolon ka haar.
August ka mahina savan ki phuhar
Bhaiya ki kalai bahen ka pyar
mubark ho ap ko Rachabandan ka tyuhar....

mujhe bhai maanane wali sabhi ladkiyo ko
Raksha bandhan ki shubhkamnaye
Aur
Nhi maanane wali ladkiya mujhe 14th feb par Msg kar sakti hai
Raksha Bandhan English SMS Messages

Har ladki tere liye bekarar hai,
Har ladki ko tera intzar hai,
Ye tera koi kamaal nahi,
bus kuch din baad…..

Rakhi Ka Tyohar Tha, Rakhi Bandhwane Ko Bhai Taiyar Tha,
Bhai Bola bahna meri ab to rakhi bandh do,Bahna Boli,
Kalai Peechhe karo, Pahale Rupae Hazaar do.


Agar aap bus, train, plane ya kahin se bhi aa ya jaa rahe ho
aur kisi mahila ke haath mai phool, dhaga, chain ya chamakti
hui koi bhi vastu dekhen. To turant wahan se hat jayen. Yeh
vastu Rakhi ho sakti hai. Aapki zara si laparwahi apko Bhai bana
sakti hai…Janhit mai jaari!!!

sms jokes

Bhagwan kare tujhe bahut pyaar mile
sabhi ladkiyan tujhe baandhe rakhi
tujhe jeevan bhar ka unka saath mile.
Happy Raksha Bandhan.


Ye Lamha Kuch Khas Hai,
Behan Ke Hathon Mein Bhai Ka Haath Hai,
O Behna Tere Liye Mere Pass Kuch Khas Hai,
Tere Sukoon Ki Khatir Meri Behna,
Tera Bhai Hamesha Tere Sath Hai.
Funny Raksha Bandhan SMS in Hindi

Khuda Kare Tujhe Khushiyan Hazaar Mile,
Mujhse Bhi Achcha Yaar Mile,
Meri Girlfriend Tujhe Bandhe RAKHI,
Aur Ek AUR Behan Ka Pyaar Mile.

New Funny SMS Jokes in Hindi

1 Rahen Chullu,
1 Rahen Bhullu,
1 Rahen ULLU,

Chullu 11vi Me Padhat Rahen,

Bhullu 12vi Me Padhat Rahen,

Aur ULLU
.
"SMS" Padhat Rahen.

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Mere sath kissa Ajeeb ho gaya,
Jaga tha jo mera Naseeb wo so gaya.
Ek pyara sa Dost tha jo krta tha mujhe sms,
Lagta h aaj wo B GAREEB ho gaya.

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Aapka Blood Group Kya Hai?

Jaldi Batao

MUNNI Ki Tabiyat Bahut Kharab Hai,
Doctor Ne Kaha Hai Ke Sirf
BADNAAM Logon Ka Khoon Hi Chalega..

Best Funny SMS Jokes Messages

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Teacher : Jo andar ane k liye sab se chota sentence bolega use gift milega.
Eng child: May i cum in?
Hindi Child : Mai Andr a Skta ho ?
Varanasi Child : I ka.

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GIRL- Mujhe Kyu Dekh Rahe Ho? Tumhari Koi Behen Nahi Hai Kya?
BOY - Hai IsiLiye To Dekh Raha Hu.
GIRL- Kyu?
BOY - Meri Behen Ko BHABHI Chahiye.
------
Jeans pehen ke jab mai taiyar hota,
Utha k mobile,
Bike pe sawaar hota,
Dekhte log chhat pe khade hoke,
Aur kehte-Kaash ye chhora hamari chhori ka yaar hota.

------

Zindagi ka sach
Ek garib subah jaldi Ghar se pet bharne k Liye nikalta hai
Aur
Ek Ameer pet kam karne k liye

Strnge But True
-------
If the worgue of time is ritsol by you and you are perdising it.
Then...
Neeche to aise padh rahe ho jaise oopar ki saari Angreji samajh aa gai

Funny SMS in Hindi : Hindi Jokes

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Mahatma Gandhi ne shadi se phle apni wife Kasturba Gandhi ko letter likha:
.
DEAR KASTURBA,
.
.
I LOVE YOU.
.
.
Tumhara
"BAPU" Ji

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Funny Exam SMS in Hindi : Hindi Exam jokes

Explosive comedy:
Santa gives dictation test for students,
last bench students said v r not able to hear sir..
Santa said ok i will write on board.!
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Student- sir sab log hindi, English, Urdu,
Me bolte,
Maths me kyu nhi.
Teacher - jyada 3,5 na kr 9,2,11 hole nhi to 4,5 jb dunga to 6 k 36 dikhne lagenge.

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Pani me gira rumal to rumal geela hai,
aasman me dekha to aasman bhi neela hai,
muhabbat to sab karte hai,
par
me karu to sala character dheela hai..
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Railway Me Job Hai
.
Karani hai?
.
Salary:35,000/-
Per Month
.
Job Details:-
.
Rajdhani Exp Ki Head Lite Kharab Ho Gai Hai
Torch Lekar Aage Aage bhagna Hai

Funny SMS in English: Funny SMS Messages

Ek bachcha har roz Maths teacher ko phone lagata h
Teacher ki wife-Kitni bar kaha wo mar gye h, bar bar phone kyu krte ho?
Bachcha-Sun k achcha lagta h!
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( '_' )
.
('_' )
.
( '_')
.
('_' )
.
( '_')
.
('_' )
.
Aankhen aaj bhi uss pagal ko talash rhi hai, jisne kaha tha
.
12th tak padhlo, baad mai to aish hai.

Kids Jikes In Hindi

Jor se bolo…

Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!

Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI.
........................................................................................................................

“My Dog”

Teacher : Pappu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Pappu : No, teacher, it’s the same dog… we both wrote on!!!
........................................................................................................................

Chota Santa buys sabji

Chota Santa stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the Sabji wala:

10 kilo sugar at Rs 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each
“How much does that come to?” asked Larry.
“Twenty-two rupees and thirty-six paisa.”
“If I gave you three ten rupee bills, how much change would I get?” said Chota Santa.
“Seven rupees and sixty-four paisa,” stated the Sabji wala who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.
Chota Santa said, as he disappeared through the door, “Mujhe ye sab nahi kharid ne ka he.. mujhe to bas apne kal ke math homework ka an“
........................................................................................................................

Doorbell bajao aur bhago

Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:
Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?
Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?
Baccha: Ab bhago!
........................................................................................................................

Jungle mein potty

Do bachhe jungle mein potty kar rahe the. Tabhi wahan par sher (Lion) aa gaya.
Pehla doosre se bola : Oye tu dar raha hai.

Doosra bola : Nahi!

Pehla bola : Abe toh sale apni dho, meri kyon dho raha hai….!