Funny Jokes

11. Saari Raat guzar jaati hai bas isi Kashmakash me ki
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Ye saali rajaai me hawa kidhar se ghus rahi hai... :

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12. Old Generation:

"Neki kar, Dariya mein daal"
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New Generation:
"Kuch bhi kar, Facebook pe daal"

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13. year old boy:

i love you mom!

mom: awwww..
i love u too Son!
...
16 year old boy:
i love u mom!

mom: sorry,
i have no money :D

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14. Why girls live longer than boys????

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Scientific studies have proved that
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"SHOPPING"
never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,
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"PAYING the "BILLS" does :):D

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15. Girlfriend setting password

for her laptop with
boyfriend sitting beside
her…

She types “BRAIN” as

password.
Boyfriend fell down of his
chair , laughing
Bcoz
Laptop replied:“TOO SMALL

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16. Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. 

When Dhoni hits a boundary. 

Banta: Kya Goal mara. 

Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai

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17. Gl- can i sit here?

Boy- it all urs...:)

Gl- can i tk some water?
Boy- my plsr...:)
...
Gl- Bhaiya agla station konsa hai?
.

Boy- mere baap ne mere dimag me koi GPS fit nhi kiya hai ,jaldi seat khali ker mujhe neend a rahi hai ......... :P :P :P :D :/

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18. Two terrorists having discussion in a bar.

The waiter asks them what the discussion was about?

Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..

Waiter :- Why a donkey?

Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people".

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19. Gabbar: Kitne admi they?

Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 se pehle?
Samba: 2 se pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do :-D :-P :-)

Top Funny Jokes

1. b bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjaam ??
Dnt say wah wah Plz feel the pain ... (o_O )
bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjam ??
MUNNA bana MBBS aur MUNNI hui badnaam..

 

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2.An old Indian women slips on ice

an falls..
She cries.. "Hai meri kismat"..
A gora walks past and says..
"Hi merry christmas to u Too".X_X

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3. Sardar picnic par gaye whan ja kar yaad aaya ke pepsi to ghar bhul gaye.
Decide kia ke sab se chhota sardar ja kar Pepsi le aaye,
Sardar: Main is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak smose nahi khaoge.
Dono ne kaha thik hai.
1 din guzar gaya sardar nahi aaya.
2 din guzar gaye.
Dono ne socha ke ab samose kha lene chahiye.
Jaise hi smosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke peechhe se nikal k bola. "AISE KAROGE TO MAIN NAHI JAAUNGA"

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4. Pappu’s Atittude In Exams.

They Give Me Questions Which I Don’t Know.

So………………

I Give Them Answers Which They Don’t Know.

Why???

“Tit For Tat“

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5. Santa: Yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?

Banta: Yehi ki is answer sheet par likhe gaye sabhi answers kalpnik hain jinka kisi bhi book se koi smbandh nahi hai.

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6. Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
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Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

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7. A muslim girl wearing a burka was going on the road.

The boy going just behind the girl said,"Rafta Rafta dekho aankh jisse ladhi hain."

Girl Replied,"Aankh Jisse ladhi, tere baap se bhi badhi hain

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8. Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!

Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.

Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.

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9. A boy said
I Love U to a girl
Bt
Girl replied
Sorry i lv someone else

The boy in sad mood looked
at d girl & said

"Batau tere baap ko?" ;-) :D

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Santa Best Jokes

:: Best santa banta jokes in Hindi ::
Santa2Banta:
SANTA- maine Pichle 20 Saalo Me 1 Baat Note Ki Hai !!
Banta: Wo Kya?
Santa: Saala Jab Bhi Faatak Band Hote Hai
Tab Train Jaroor Aati Hai.

:: Best santa banta jokes in Hindi ::
Santa- tumne itne chhote-Chhote baal Q katwaye?


Banta- naai ke paas 3 rupye khulle nahin the, to main bola 3 rupay ke aur kaat de.....

Bhikari: kuch khane ko Dedo.
SANTA - TAMATAR KHAO
Bikari - roti dedo
Santa - TAMATAR KHAO
Bikari -l ao tamatar hi do
Santa ki Mumy - ye totla h,keh rha h,
KAMAKAR khao.

Latest New santa banta jokes 2013

45 saal ka SANTA ladki dekhne gya, Ladki ki Maa behosh ho gyi, Hosh aya to pucha KYA HUA.?



boli-18saal pehle ye muje b dekhne aya tha.:-D

Latest New santa banta jokes 2014

SANTA- Aaj kal zyada bachche judwa kyo paida hote hai?


BANTA-Desh me itna AATANKWAAD badh gaya hai ke bachche akele aane se darte hai.

Santa Qabristan Me Charas Pi Raha Tha

Police=Kya Kar Rahe Ho ?

Santa=Abbu K Liye Dua,
Police=Ye To Bachche Ki Qabr Hai

Santa=Abbu Bachpan Me Hi Mar Gaye The......................................latest new santa banta jokes 2014

3 sardar picnic par gae wahan ja kar yad aya k pepsi to ghar bhol gaye
Decide kia ki sab se chota sardar ja kar pepsi le aaye

Chota sardar:Main is shart par jata hun k tum mere ane tak samose nahi khao ge
Dono ne kaha thik hai
1 din guzar gaya sardar ni aya
2 din guzr gaye
2no ne socha k ab samose kha lne chahye

Jaise hi samosa uthaya chota sardar ped k peche se nikal k bola....

Aisa karo ge to main nahi jauga.

Santa Ne Car Se 4Logo Ko
Daba Diya
Judge-Tumne Sarab V Nai Pi Thi Fir V Ye Q kiya?
Santa-Sir
IDEA Walo Ne Kha Tha Ki
Is Gaane K Liye 4Dabaye

Santa Jokes

Fighter pilot Santa, kamyabi ke baad apna Plane land karne pe bahut khush hua..
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Niche utarne pe ground staff ne usey turant welcome kiya aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage..
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Santa (fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or 1 tank ko mara hai..
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Ground Staff: Wo sab to theek hai lekin sir ji apne1 galti kar di..
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Santa :Kaun si galti?
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Ground Staff: Bas aap isi khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye hain!!
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Santa Singh was Reading Newspaper Headlines…
“Indian Athlete lost gold medal in long jump”

Santa Comments:
“Idiot, who told him to wear gold medal while jumping”
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Salesman: Sir, cockroach ke liye powder loge kya?
Santa Bola:
“Ji Nahin, hum cockroach ko itna laad-pyar nahi karte! Aaj powder laga denge to kal sala DEO mangega!!”

Salesman Fainted !!

बाघ का बेस्ट फ्रेंड है अब्दुल्ला

बाघ का बेस्ट फ्रेंड है अब्दुल्लाhttp://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/hansimazakshow/29441292.cmsबाघ का बेस्ट फ्रेंड है अब्दुल्ला- Hansimazak - Navbharat Times:

भले ही बाघ को देखकर ही आपके पसीने छूट जाएं लेकिन इंडोनेशिया का एक व्यक्ति न सिर्फ बाघ का दोस्त है बल्कि उसके साथ ही खाता और सोता भी है। जी हां, इंडोनेशिया के 33 साल के अब्दुल्ला शोलेह एक बाघ (बंगाल टाइगर) के न सिर्फ बेस्ट फ्रेंड बन गए हैं बल्कि उसके नैनी (देखभाल करने वाला) भी वही हैं। इस बाघ का नाम मुलन जामिलाह है और इसे तीन महीने की उम्र में अब्दुल्ला के इस्लामिक स्कूल को गिफ्ट किया गया था।

अब्दुल्ला अब नियमित रूप से इंडोनेशिया के ईस्ट जावा क्षेत्र में स्थित मलंग स्कूल में इस वड़े बाघ के साथ सोते हैं, खेलते हैं और उसके साथ लड़ते हैं। बाघ और अब्दुल्ला में इतनी गहरी दोस्ती है कि अक्सर अब्दुल्ला अपने बिस्तर पर सोने की बजाय बाघ के साथ सोना पसंद करते हैं।

मुलन(बाघ) का वजन अब 178 किलो है (392 पाउंड) और वह तीन मीटर लंबा (उसके पूंछ सहित) और एक मीटर ऊंचा है। हालांकि अब बाड़े में दोनों के एक साथ रहने के लिए उनके बीच लोहे की छड़ें लगा दी गई हैं। ऐसा सुरक्षा कारणों से किया गया है। मुलन को हर दिन 6 किलो चिकन या मटन खिलाया जाता है। ऐसा माना जाता है कि बाघ ने किसी और जानवर की तुलना में सबसे ज्यादा आदमियों को मारते रहे है। एक स्टडी के अनुसार वर्ष 1800 से लेकर 2009 तक बाघों ने लगभग 3,73000 हजार लोगों को मारा था।