Latest Jokes

Dur nahi dikhta

Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?

Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu
....................................................................................................................

Murgha boyfriend

Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.

....................................................................................................................

Gabbar ka khauf…

Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega.

Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.

..................................................................................................................................

Chokidaar..

Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?
......................................................................................................................

Bada kab ho jaunga

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
....................................................................................................................

Plastic surgery

Ek aadmi bada dukhi tha!
Ek dost ne uss se poocha, “Kyu, tension mein ho.”

Aadmi: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon.
....................................................................................................................

Not in duty

Ek police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi.
Wife: Utho ji, ghar mein chori ho rahi hai.

Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main iss time duty par nahi hoon.
...........................................................................................................................................

Dhamkiya mil rahi hai

Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.

Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”
...........................................................................................................................................

Ajit & robert in cricket match

Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.
Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.
Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.
Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!

Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.
...........................................................................................................................................

Kabristan

Mohan & Sohan were sitting in a kabristan & were talking.
Mohan: Sohan, dekho yeh murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sote hai.

Sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: Kyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai..!