Funny jokes

Santa: You know, Our new neighbor is an Aam Aadmi Party member.
Banta: Tujhe kaise pata?

Santa: Aaj savere, jab maine use hath hila kar hello kia tha usne mujhe Jhaadu dikhaya!!
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Meri kabra pe mat gulaab leke aana
Na hi hatho mein chirag leke aana
Pyaasa hoon main barso se pyare

Bottle Coke ki aur ek Glass leke aana
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Kapil restraunt mein gaya…
Wahan par usne waiter se bola: Garam kya hai?
Waiter: Chaumin
Kapil: aur garam?
Waiter: soup,
Kapil: aur garam?
Waiter: Boiling water.
Kapil: aur garam?
Waiter: fireball

Kapil: jaldi lekar aao sigar jalaani hai.
ha ha ha
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Jagjit Singh singing-
Yeh daulat bhi le lo,
Yeh shohrat bhi le lo..
Suddenly Santa stands up & says-
Main toh bahut pareshan hun,
meri toh aurat bhi le lo….
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Santa flight mein pilot ke cabin mein ghus jata hai,
aur uske headphone khinchne lagta hai..
Pilot: Mera headphone kyun khinch rahe ho?
Santa: array ticket ke paise to humne bhi diye hai, gaane tu akela sunega..

he he ha ha..
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Dr: Kaise aana hua?
Santa: Doctor sahab, tabiyat theek nahi hain
Dr: Sharab peete ho?

Santa: Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I’m not feeling well!

How to change google page from arabic into english?

Answer

http://www.google.com/preferences?hl=en
 
choose 'english' on 'Interface Language','Search Language'
and save preferences.

Jokes

teacher:-bahcho aaykar,bikrikar,bhoomikar se milta jolta koi aur shabd batao.
bachcha:-sir ek nahin teen shabd sune hain,sunil gawaskar,sachin tendulkar aur dilip vangaskar.

ek chhota bachcha doosre bachche se:-agar din ko suraj nahin nikala to kya hoga?
doosra bachcha:-bijli ka bill bad jaaega.

    manager ne aanewale se poocha, "kya tumhe pata nahin ki aagya ke bina andar aana mana hai."
aane wala, "janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon."

adhyaapak:-bachcho batao ki doodh ko kharab hone se bachane ke liye kya karne chaahiye?
sonu:-ji sir use pi lena chahiye.

Ek aadmi:-kyon bachche yeh gend tumhari hai?
Bachcha:- uncle kya isse koi sheesha toota hai?
Aadmi:-nahin to..
bachcha:- haan to phir meri hai.


   Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd nahin mil rahe hai.
Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe 1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil rahi hai.

Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain.
Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ?
Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain  

Funny Jokes

Mareez:-doctor aap ye phoolo ki mala kyon laaye hain?
Doctor:-ye mera pahla operation hai,agar safal hua to mere liye nahin to tuhare kaam aaegi.



Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya..
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai,



Saahukaar:-tumne apne udhaar ke paise abhi tak nahin wapas kiye…
chalo mamla beech main suljha lete hai…
tumhare udhaar ka aadha paisa main bhoolne ke liye taiyaar hoon..
Karzdaar:-manzoor:-baaki aadha main bhoolne ko taiyaar hoon.


Ek ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha,
doosre din doosri ladki ke saath baitha tha,
teesre din teesri ladki ke saath baitha tha…
is kahani se shiksha milti hai:-ladkiyan badal jaati hain,ladke nahin.



Ek aadmi librarian se:-mujhe aatmhatya karni hai.kya aap mujhe aatmhatya per koi achchi book de sakte hain.
Librarian:-nahin bilkul nahin,mujhe pata hai aap mujhe wo wapas nahin denge.



Teacher:-bachcho kabhi sharab mat peena,jhooth mat bolna,kabhi nonveg mat khana,kabhi ladki ko mat chhedna.aur apne desh ke liye jaan de dena.
Ek bachcha:-de denge sir,sala aisi zindagi se to marna achcha hai.



Ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya ,
sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. Sab log phir se bole ,
“once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole ,
“once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo,
main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu,
per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.”
Tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge,
tumko gana padega.” 

Hindi Jokes

Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”



Ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola, “india se usa tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.”
Bhagwan bole, “mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.” Aadmi bola,
“To phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.”
Bhagwan bole, “sadak single banana hai ya double.”


Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, “is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha, “ pata nahin.” Teacher ne kaha, “ Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”.


ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha,
“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?”
Bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.”
Aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?”
bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.”


ek aadmi ke paas uske doctor ka phone aaya.
Docor ne kaha, “Mere pass tumhe sunane ke liye ek achchi khabar hai,
aur ek buri khabar hai.pahle kya sunoge?”
aadmi bola, “pahle mujhe achchi khabar suna do.”
Doctor bola, “good news hai ki tumhe marne me 24 ghante baaki hain.”
Aadmi bola, “oh no, aur buri khabar kya hai?”
Doctor bola,”buri khabar ye hai ki ye khabar sunanae ke liye
main tumhe kal phone karna bhool gaya.”


Chota baby- mummy raat ko jab me susu karne gaya to bathroom
Ki light jal gayi,
Mummy- haramjade tu aaj fir freeze me susu kar aaya…!!


Teacher:-MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai?
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher(Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!G.M.


College ke first day; Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai? Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai.. Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN!


Teacher- Bataao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hain wo kaha jate hain??
Student- sharmate huye bola sir..
Manuabhaan tekri, EKAANT park, Chinar park, MAYUR park...