Thursday, October 9, 2014

Char Murkh


Ek din manoranjan ke waqt badshah ke mann mein ek baat aayi sansar mein murko ki ginti soo se adhik h parntu mein char murkh dekhna chahta hu jinki jod ke dusre murkh n ho, badshah ne birbal se kaha iss dang ke char murkh talash karo ki jinki jod ke dusre n mile birbal ne kaha jo aagya hujur.
Dundne walo ko kya nahi mil sakta kewal sachi lagan honi chayie kuch door jane ke baad birbal ko ek aadmi dhikayi pada jot halo mein paan ka ek joda bida aur mithayi liye badhe uthshah se nagar ki taraf jaldi bhaga jar aha tha.
Birbal ne uss aadmi se pucha kyu sahib yeh saman kaha liye ja rahe ho jo aapke pair khusi ke maare zamin par nahi pad rahe h.


Char murkh

Aapke mann ko janne ki mujhe badhi iccha h, ataveh thoda kasht kar batlate jaye. Uss aadmi ne birbal ko talne ki kosish ki kyunki weh apni niyat jagah par jaldi pahuchna chahta tha. Parantu birbal ne bar-bar use btane ka agreh kiya tab weh insaan bola mein late ho raha hu, parntu aapke itni baar puch lene par bata dena bhi jaruri h.
Meri aurat ne dusra khsam kar liya h uske bhulae par uske naute mein ja raha hu.
Birbal ne uss aadmi ko apna parichay dekar rok liya aur kaha tumhe badshah ke pass chalne hoga tab hi tum aage ja sakoge weh badshah ka naam sunkar darr gaya aur lachar hokar birbal ke sath ho liya.
Weh isko lekar aage badha devyog se raste mein ek godhi sawar mila weh aap to godhi sawar tha par apne sir par ek badha gatthar rakha hua tha.
Birbal ne uss aadmi ne pucha kyu bhai ye kya mamla h.aap apne sir ka bhoj godhi par ladhkar kyu nahi le jate. Uss aadmi ne utar diya garib parwar meri yeh ghodi garbhini h aisi dashamein uss par itna bojh nahi lada ja sakta.
Yeh mujhe le ja rahi h ye kya kam ganimat h, birbal ne dara dhamka kar uss ghodi swar ko bhi apne sath le liya,
ab birbal dono ke sath badshah ke pass pahucha birbal ne kaha ye charo murkh aapke samne h.
Badshah to do ko ho dekh raha tha atah: bola teesra tatha chauta murkh kaha h?
Birbal ne kaha teesra number hujur ka h jo aapko aise murkh dekhne ki iccha hoti h chota murkh mein hu, jo inhe dhundh kar laya hu.
Badshah ko birbal ke aise sahi utar se badhi khusi hui jab unhe dono ki murkhta ka parichay mila to khil–khila uthe.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

English jokes santa

SANTA went to court
JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"
SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"
JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"
SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.
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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do
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Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!
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Santa:- 'Which is better?
Google or Yahoo..?'
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Banta- 'Oh wait.I'll search it on
Google'... :D ;)

English Jokes

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor..

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Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention here?
Student: yes mam, I am paying as little attention as i can. !!

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An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: "Thank god I am not a gynecologist."

##############################################Student1 :Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Student 2: OK
Student 1: A white horse fell in the mud.

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Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It is 42 mam!"
Teacher: "great, and who will tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It 24 mam."

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Two student were chatting:
First: Do you know what is snake's favorite subject?
second:, no, you tell.
first: Hisssstory!!!

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Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water?
One student: Its "h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o."
Teacher: What is this?
Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O !!

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Jazzy: My father is pregnant, I will soon have brother.
Teacher: How can it be? It is not possible.
Jazzy: My mother had abdominal pain last month, than i got a little sister, now my father is undergoing the same pain.!!!

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Teacher: From where to where foreigner ruled us?
Student: I am not sure but I think from page 50 to 55...

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short jokes on teacher-student..
Teacher : if you want to make your character good, then say all woman 'Mother'.
Student: well that will make my character good, but what about my Father ??


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Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

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Man: How can you tell if a man is happy?
Woman: Who cares?!

Hindi Funny jokes

पत्नी की बदतमीजी पर पति ने पत्नी की खूब पिटाई की | पत्नी नाराज होकर मायके चली गई औए अपने पिता से शिकायत की | शिकायत सुन लेने के बाद पिता ने भी उसकी पिटाई की और घर से निकाल दिया और कहा ,जा अपनी ससुराल और दामाद जी से कह देना अगर उसने मेरी बेटी को पीटा हैं तो मैंने भी उसकी पत्नी को पीटकर बदला ले लिया हैं |
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विमल (कमल से)-भई ! तुम अपनी पत्नी से लडा मत करो , क्योंकि पति-पत्नी गृहस्ती रूपी गाडी के दो पहियों के समान हैं |

कमल (विमल से)- यह बात तो ठीक है ! परन्तु जब एक पहिया ट्रेक्टर का है और दूसरा साइकिल का हो , तो बताओ गाडी कैसे चलेगी ?
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एक लंगडे भिखारी को देखकर एक वृद्ध ने कहा- सचमुच लंगडा होना बडा कष्टदायक हैं वो तो गनीमत है तुम अंधे नहींं हो नहीं तो तुम्हें और भी कष्ट होता |

भिखारी - आप सच कहते हैं , श्रीमान जी , जब मैं अंधा था तब लोग मुझे खोटे पैसे दे जाया करते थे |
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अपराधी का पहला अपराध होने के कारण मजिस्ट्रेट ने उसे माफ करते हुए कहा - हमें पूरा विश्वास हैं तुम कभी यहां न दीखोगें |

अपराधी - हां हजूर मेरी पूरी कोशिश होगी कि पुलिस मुझे कभी न पकड सके और फिर कभी मैं यहां न दीखूं |
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अध्यापक - चिंटू तुम कल स्कूल क्यों नहीं आए ?

चिंटू - सर , कल मैं सपने में अमरीका चला गया था |

अध्यापक - ठीक है ! पिन्टू तुम क्यों नहीं आए ?

पिन्टू - सर , मैं चिंटू को एयरपोर्ट छोडने गया था |

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रानू ( शानू से ) - यार इस बार मै अपनी दादी के यहां ठण्ड के मौसम में गया था वहां ठण्ड इतनी अधिक थी कि दादी ने भैंस का दूध दुहा , तो

वह फौरन आइसक्रीम बन गया |

शानू - और यार , मैं पिछली गर्मी में अपने दादाजी के यहां गया था | वहां गर्मी इतनी अधिक थी कि दादाजी ने प्लेट में एक अण्डा फोडा,तो फौरन आमलेट

Hindi Jokes Funny

Ekbar ek sharabi ja raha tha achanak kichchad me gir gaya itneme bijli chamki sharabi bola he bhagwan ek to kichchad me gira diya aur photo bhi khinch liya
1 Sardar library me 3 Ghante 1 Book padhne k Baad bola
SO BORING itne sare characters but no story.
Librarian-
Sardar Ji, wo TELEPHONE DIARY thi.
Ek Sardar apne Marriage Certificate ko ek ghante se dekh raha tha.Biwi boli:tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
Sardar:Expiry Date dekh raha hu. ....
T.V. chalu karo aur news dekho katrina hospitaliesed hai kyonki usne mujhe propose kiya aur maine use sadi se mana kardiya to us pagli ne apne hath ki nas kat li
100 ladkiyo ne suicide kar liya aur 30 ne apne nas kat li aur 10 ladkiya behose ho gayi kyonki kisi kamine ne meri sadi kijhoti khabar faela di thi
One day RAVAN went to disco... aur woh behosh ho gaya, due to shock.....!
why.....?? " Coz the entry fee was Rs. 1500 per HEAD...!!!
Har Khushi Teri Taraf Mod Doo
Tere Liye Chand Tare Tak Tod Doo
Khushiyon Ke Darwaje Tere Liye Khol Doon,
Itna Kaafi Hai ya Do Chaar Jhoot Aur Bol Doo
Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2 kya hoga"!!
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket apani hi kategi."
Maa-Nalayak Kaha Thi Itni Raat Tak?
Beti-Boyfriend Ke Saath,
Maa-Kar Aayi Na Muh Kala,
Beti-Toh Kya Hua Maa Fair & Lovely Hai Na. . .
pehle wo meri GF thi
Me bolta tha wo suni thi
phir wo meri mangetar bani,
Wo bolti thi main sunta tha
jab wo meri BIWI bani Hum dono bolte he
Mohalla sunta hai.