A Jamaican wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
"Here is your first question", the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt, "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when I start?"
...............................................................
Dronacharya: The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.
Bhishma: The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)
Dhritarashtra: The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes.
Gandhari: The Yesmen/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening.
Yuddhisthira: The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.
Bheema: The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.
Arjuna: The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.
Nakul & Sahdev: The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.
Duryodhana: The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.
Karna: The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.
Shakuni: The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun.
Dhristadyumna: The One inning wonder. The one who performs an extraordinary feat, and then basks in the glory of it for the rest of his life.
Draupadi: The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice.
Krishna: The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.
Who says history never repeats. It does everyday.
...............................................................
If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!!!
That's the power of Smile !!!
Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman....
Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men!!!
'Sympathy'... You can get from Anybody.
But... 'Jealousy'.... You have to Earn it!!!
Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall.
And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch... It'll move on its own!!!
Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth:
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Females wearing sleeveless & backless at marriages in India !!!
...............................................................
A rabbit escaped from a research laboratory where he had lived since birth. He joined a group of wild rabbits and lived their lives for a day. He fed on juicy carrots, fat lettuces and sighed with pleasure.
"This is life!" he exclaimed.
"So you are going to live with us?" asked the others.
"I wish I could but I really must get back to the laboratory. I am dying for a cigarette."
"Here is your first question", the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt, "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."
"So, when I start?"
...............................................................
Dronacharya: The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.
Bhishma: The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)
Dhritarashtra: The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes.
Gandhari: The Yesmen/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening.
Yuddhisthira: The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.
Bheema: The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.
Arjuna: The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.
Nakul & Sahdev: The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.
Duryodhana: The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.
Karna: The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.
Shakuni: The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun.
Dhristadyumna: The One inning wonder. The one who performs an extraordinary feat, and then basks in the glory of it for the rest of his life.
Draupadi: The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice.
Krishna: The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.
Who says history never repeats. It does everyday.
...............................................................
If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!!!
That's the power of Smile !!!
Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman....
Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men!!!
'Sympathy'... You can get from Anybody.
But... 'Jealousy'.... You have to Earn it!!!
Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall.
And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch... It'll move on its own!!!
Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth:
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Females wearing sleeveless & backless at marriages in India !!!
...............................................................
A rabbit escaped from a research laboratory where he had lived since birth. He joined a group of wild rabbits and lived their lives for a day. He fed on juicy carrots, fat lettuces and sighed with pleasure.
"This is life!" he exclaimed.
"So you are going to live with us?" asked the others.
"I wish I could but I really must get back to the laboratory. I am dying for a cigarette."
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