Monday, December 2, 2013

पति का प्यार- Latest Jokes in Hindi



FUNNY JOKES IN HINDI


पति का प्यार

बीवी को थप्पड़ मार के शौहर बोला: आदमी उसे ही मारता है जिसे वह प्यार करता है.
बीवी ने उसको दो तमाचे, 4 लातें मारे और बोली : आप क्या सोचते हैं, प्यार सिर्फ आप ही करते हैं, मैं नहीं करती आपसे.

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मैडम जी के कारनामें

बच्चे 1 लड़की को घसीट-घसीट कर स्कूल ले जा रहे थे. उन्हें देख एक बुजुर्ग ने उन्हें रोककर कहा: इसको छोड़ दो यह खुद स्कूल जाएगी.
बच्चे: बाबा जी, यह हमारी टीचर है, रोज रोज स्कूल से डेट पर भाग जाती है.

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Fun gif


बेचारा आदमी

1 दुखी आदमी ने कहा: ऐसी जिंदगी से तो मौत अच्छी.
अचानक यमराज आया और बोला तेरी जान लेने आया हूं.
आदमी: लो बताओ अब दुखी इंसान मजाक भी नहीं कर सकता क्या.

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गणित की क्लास
एक लड़का एक लड़की को गणित सिखा रहा था. पहले उसने लड़की के गाल पर किस किया और फिर दुबारा उसी गाल पर किस करके बोला इसे कहते हैं जमा.
फिर लड़की ने लड़के को किस किया. लड़का बोला इसे कहते हैं घटा.
फिर लड़के और लड़की ने एक दूसरे को किस किया और बोला इसे कहते हैं गुणा करना.
इतने में लड़की के पिताजी आ गए और लड़के की पिटाई करके बोले बेला इसे कहते है “विभाजन”.


Hindi Jokes Funny

Girl: “Jab Saavan Aata Hai Teri Yaad Aati Hai,”
“Jab Bijli Chamakati Hai Teri Yaad Aati Hai,”
“Jab Baadal Chhaate Hai Teri Yaad Aati Hai,”

“Jab Baarish Hoti Hai Teri Yaad Aati Hai.”
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Boy: “Bas Rehne De Kamini Taane Mat Diya Kar, Mujhe Pata Hai Tera Chaaata Wapis Dena Hai
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Santa Kaafi Din Baad Banta Se Milne Aaya Aur Aate hi Usne Poochha.
Santa: “Aur Suna Yaar, Biwi Se Jhagda Solve Hua Ya Nahi?
Banta: “Abe Ghutno Par Chal Ke Aayi Thi Mere Paas, Ghutno Pe.
Santa: “Kya Baat Kar Raha Hai, Sach Mein.
Banta: “Aur Nahi To Kya.
Santa: “Fir Kya Boli?

Banta: “Boli Bed Ke Neeche Se Baahar Aa Jao, Pakka Ab Nahi Maarungi
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Sunday, December 1, 2013

Hindi Jokes

Salesman: Sir, cockroach ke liye powder loge kya?
Santa Bola:
“Ji Nahin, hum cockroach ko itna laad-pyar nahi karte! Aaj powder laga denge to kal sala DEO mangega!!”


Salesman Fainted !!
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Sir: Define Energy ?
Santa Sardar: Sir poora nahin aata hai, thoda last ka pata hai, bas.
Sir: Thik hai, koi baat nahin, jitna aata hai utna bolo.

Santa: “and this is called Energy……”
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Ek baar Santa Singh ne ek MENDAK se puchha ki ‘Sardaro me dimag hota hai’?
Mendak bola: nahin, Aur paani mein kood gaya.

Santa Sardar pura din sochta raha isme SUICIDE karne wali kya baat thi ? :-D :-P
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Santa to Son: “maths vich fail kyu hoya”..??
Son: 1st day teacher kendi
5+3=8..

Agle din kendi
6+2=8..

fir kendi
4+4=8


Ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi!! :-D
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Aaj se 300 saal pehle MATHS bahut masoom aur pyara tha.
Ek din kuch badmash students ne MATHS ko bahut maara…
yahan tak ki Maths ki aakhri Sans bhi marte marte sab students ko baddua de gaya.

Aur Ye keh kar iss dunia se chala gaya ki…
main to ja raha hoon lekin… “MATHS”
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M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Satayegi


Aaj bhi maths ki aatma bhatak rahi hai aur saare students ko sata rahi hai
aur hamesha satati rahegi :-( :-P

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Wife:
Jaanu! Aaj tumhari girlfriend night stay karne aa rahi hai…
Maine fridge mein Beer & Fresh Fruits salad banakar rakh diye hain…
Room freshener side table par hai.
Nahane ka soap with line fragrance aur towel bhi rakha hai
Main bachcho ko lekar mummy ke yaha ja rahi hoon, kal shaam tak aaungi.
Program me koi change ho to inform kar dena, main wahin aur din ruk jaungi~~

Issko kehte hain…

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“Mungeri Lal ke Haseen Sapne!!” :-D

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Three most innocent faces in the world
1) A Sleeping Baby

2) Udhaar Mangne Wala Aadmi

3) Hamare Parents ke samne baitha hua apna dost.

—— In Hindi —–
दुनिया के तीन सबसे मासूम चेहरे
१) सोता हुआ बच्चा

२) उधार मांगने वाला आदमी


3) हमारे माता-पिता के सामने बैठा हुआ अपना दोस्त

Pathan Jokes

Yaar
Pathan: Mera yaar aaya hai chai to bana do.
Wife:
Mein nahi bana rahi.
Pathan
Bana de jab tera yaar aaye ga to mein b bana doonga.


Pathan Ka Challange
Pathan ny challange kiya k
Woh minar-e-pakistan ko apne sar par utha kar peshawar ja sakta hai.
Hazaron log ikthay ho gaye...
Pathan bola: bus isey utha kar mere sar par rakho tum...!!


Khwab
Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Rank Me Aaya. News channel walu ne pucha..
Ab Aaghe Kya Karoge ?
Pathan : bachpan se ek khwab Dekha Hai apna tandoor Center kholu ga...


Pathan or Gadhe me 3 Batien Common hain
1) Bachpan me Dono bhi Khubsurat The.
2) Bachpan se hi Mehnati hote hn
3) Bare ho kr Dono Transport ka Kaam kerte hai.


To Main Batata..
Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya
Pathan Gussey me Bolta howa bhaga
Khocha agar tere Bap ka Hakumat nahi hota to tujhe Batata???


Akele
Boy : Maine Suna hai is Ghar Mein Jin Bhot aur Rohain Rehti Hy
Pathan : pta Nai
Mje to Khud Mare Hue 8 Sal Hogye
Moral: pathano ko marne k bad B akal nae ati


Pathan Ka Pyar
Pathan (in romantic mood) :Tum meri zindgi ho!!
Wife : aur kaho achcha lag raha hai!!
Pathan : aur LANAT hai aisi zindagi pe!!!!!


Baap Ka Naam ''Google Khan''
Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??
Pathan: Google Khan
Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!!
Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....


Eid mubarak
Pathan ko gali me para 100 ka note mila,
Jis pe likha tha
“EiD MUBARAK”
Pathan ne chup k se note jeib me rakhte huye kaha
“KHER MUBARAK.


Kangal Pathan
ek Pathan kangal ho gya to us ny apni Bivi se kaha
bachon ko un k nanky bhej do
AuR tum apni ammi k ghar chali jao
Mera Allah malik
Main apny susral chala jata ho

Very Funny Jokes

Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai: "Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."
Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..!
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Bhongasing ek ped per chadh Gaye.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aaye?
Bhongasing: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Bhongasing: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hun.
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Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ?
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Raja Pervaiz Ashraf: Yaar mujhey Mother's Day pe koi Message nhi aaya?
Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me jub Light jati hai,
Log aap ki Maa ko hi yaad kertey hain!!!
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Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Kirayedar: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.
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Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun".
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Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi, 
Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga...
Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho...
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Dad:result ka kya hua
Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
Dad:good news bata.
Son : mai pass ho gya.
Dad : great, aur bad news.
Son:good news galat hai.
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Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
'doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?'
Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to Yamraj hun!!!!
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husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka Natija!!
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Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.
Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai... par hum se shaadi karega koun?
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Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao..
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Santa : matlbi dost se bach kar raho.
Banta : magar matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega. Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
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Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me mama banunga ya mami".