Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Brahmin Ka Sapna..!






Bahut Samay Pahile Ki Baat Hai. Ek Brahmin Tha Jo Bhikcha Mangkar Apna Gujara Karta Tha. Ek Din
Use EK Patra Bhar Kar Aata Bhiksha Main Mila. Wah Khusi Khusi Ghar Aaya Aur Apne Bistar Ke Pass He Diwar Par Bhiksha Patra Ko Ladka Diya.
Brahmin Us Bhiksha Patra Ke Pass Lage Bistar Par So Gaya aur Sapna Dekhne Laga. Usne Dekha Ki Desh Main Aakal Padh Gaya Hai Aur Usne Bhiksha Patra Main Rakkha Aata Bahut Adhik Daam Lekar Bech Diya hai. Phir Wah Sochne Laga Ki Us Paise Se Ushne Ek Jodi Bakriyan Khareedi Aur Un Bakariyon Ko Khub Acchi Tarah Se Khila Peela Kar Mota Aur Tandurust Kar Diya Hai. Phir Usne Sapne Main Dekha Ki Usne Apni Bakariyan Kafi Mehngi Bech Di hai Aur Socha Raha Hai… ” Ab To Main 2 Gaye Khreedunga Aur Ve Mujhe Bahut Sara Dudh Dengi. Us Dudh Se Main Makkhan, Malai Nikalunga Aur Mithi Mithi Raswali Mithaiyan Banunga. Phir Sapna Dekhne Laga Ki Bajar Main Uski Ek Badi Si Dukaan Ho Jayegi….!!
Brahmin Sapne Dekhta Hi Raha. Usne Dekha Wah Keemti Patthar Bechne Wala Ek Amir Viyapari Ban Gaya Hai Aur Sapne Main He Wah Sochne Laga ” Ab To Main EK Bada Sa Makan Banwaunga. Jiske Charon oor Kamal Ke Fool Wala Talab Hoga. Koi Bhi Raajkumari Mujhse Be Jhijak Vivah Karne Ko Tyar Ho Jayegi Aur Phir Humare 2 Sundar Sundar Bacche Honge.”
… Par Bacche Bahut Saitan Honge, Is Liye Ve Mujhe Jarur Pareshan Karenge. Usne Man He Man Apne Se Kaha.. ” Main Ek Chadi Lekar Unki Pitai Karunga” Sote Sote He Usne Ek Chadi Utha Li Aur Hawa Main Ghumane Laga. Uski Chadi Aate Se Bhare Bhiksha Patra Par Lagi Aur Wah Footkar Niche Gir Gaya. Wah Sir Se Pair Tak Aate Se Naha Gaya…!!

Lalchi Kutta…!!



Ek Baar Ek Kutte Ko Bahut Jor Se Bhook Lagi Thi.
Tabhi Use Ek Roti Mili. Wah Ush Roti Ka Pura Anand Lena Chahta Tha.
Isliye Wah Ushe Shanti Main Baithkar Khane Ki Iccha Se
Roti Ko Apne Muh Main Dabakar Nadi Ki Oor Chal Diya.
Nadi Par Ek Chota Sa Pul Tha.
Jab Kutta Nadi Paar Kar Raha Tha, Tabhi Use Pani Main Apni Parchai Dikhai Di.
Usne Apni Parchai Ko Dusra Kutta Samjha Aur Uski Roti Chinna Chaha.
Roti Chinne Ke Liye Usne Bhokte Huye Nadi Main Chalang Laga Di.
Muh Kholte He Uske Muh Ki Roti Nadi Ke Jaal Main Gir Kar Bah Gai
aur Lalchi Kutta Bhoka Hi Rah Gaya.
Is Liye Kaha Gaya Hai Ki Hume Lalach Nahi karna Chahiye

Aap Haathi Nahi Insaan Hain








Ek Aadmi Khin Se Gaujr Rhaa Thaa, Tbhi Usne Sdek Ke Kinaare Bndhe Haathiyon Ko Dekhaa, Aur

Achaank Ruk Gayaa. Usne Dekhaa Ki Haathiyon Ke Agale Pair Men Ek Rssi Bndhi Hui Hai, Use Is Baat Kaa Bdeaa Achrj Huaa Ki Haathi Jaise Vishaalkaay Jiv Lohe Ki Jnjiron Ki Jgah Bs Ek Choti Si Rssi Se Bandhe Hue Hain!!! Ye Spsth Thaa Ki Haathi Jb Chaahte Tb Apne Bndhn Tode Kr Khin Bhi Jaa Skte The, Pr Kisi Vajh Se Vo Aisaa Nhin Kr Rhe The.
Usne Paas Khdee Mhaavt Se Puchaa Ki Bhlaa Ye Haathi Kis Prkaar Itni Shaanti Se Khdee Hain Aur Bhaagane Kaa Pryaas Nhi Kr Rhe Hain ?
Tb Mhaavt Ne Khaa, ” In Haathiyon Ko Chote Pr Se Hi In Rssiyon Se Baandhaa Jaataa Hai, Us Smy Inke Paas Itni Shkti Nhin Hoti Ki Is Bndhn Ko Tode Sken. Baar-baar Pryaas Krne Pr Bhi Rssi Naa Tode Paane Ke Kaarn Unhen Dhire-dhire Ykin Hotaa Jaataa Hai Ki Vo In Rssiyon Ko Nhin Tode Skte,aur Bdee Hone Pr Bhi Unkaa Ye Ykin Bnaa Rhtaa Hai, Islie Vo Kbhi Ise Todene Kaa Pryaas Hi Nhin Krte.”
Aadmi Aashchry Men Pde Gayaa Ki Ye Taaktvr Jaanvr Sirf Islie Apnaa Bndhn Nhin Tode Skte Kyonki Vo Is Baat Men Ykin Krte Hain!!
In Haathiyon Ki Trh Hi Hmmen Se Kitne Loga Sirf Phle Mili Asfltaa Ke Kaarn Ye Maan Baithte Hain Ki Ab Hmse Ye Kaam Ho Hi Nhin Sktaa Aur Apni Hi Bnaayin Hui Maansik Jnjiron Men Jkdee-jkdee Puraa Jivn Gaujaar Dete Hain.
Yaad Rkhiye Asfltaa Jivn Kaa Ek Hissaa Hai ,aur Nirntr Pryaas Krne Se Hi Sfltaa Milti Hai. Ydi Aap Bhi Aise Kisi Bndhn Men Bndhen Hain Jo Aapko Apne Spne Sch Krne Se Rok Rhaa Hai To Use Tode Daalie…..
Aap Haathi Nhin Insaan Hain…!!

Badmash Tota




Ek Aurat Sadak Par Chalti Hui Apne Kaam Par Jaa Rahi Thi..
Tabhi Usne Paltu Jeevo Ki Dukaan Ke Samne Ek Dande Par
Baithe Huye Tote Ko Dekha..!!
Tote ne Usse Kaha ” Hey Ledy! Tum Wahiyat Ho! “
Aurat Gusse Main… Tezi Se Us Dukaan Se Guzar Gai.
Shaam Ko Wapis Ghar Aatey Time Bhi Use Wahi Tota Dikha Aur
Ushne Fir Kaha ” Hey Ledy! Tum Wahiyat Ho! “
Uska Gussa Is Baar Satve Aasman Par Jaa Pahucha!!
Agle Din Ushi Tote Ne Fir Usse Kaha ” Hey Ledy! Tum Wahiyat Ho! “
Wah Etni Pagal Ho Uthi Ki Wah Dukaan Main Jaa Kar Dukaan Ke Malik Se
Kaha Ki Ya To Is Tote Ko Hatao Nahi Toh Main Tumhare Upar Case Kar Dungi!!
Dukaan Ka Malik Badi Vinamrta Se Mafi Mangi Aur Wada Kiya Ki Aage Se
Wah Khayal Rakkhega Ki Tota Aage Se Aisa Na Kahe!!
Jab Wah Aurat Fir Se Udhar Se Jaa Rahi Thi To Tote Ne Use Bulaya
“Hey Ledy!!”
Wah Ruki Aur Kaha ” Haan?”
Tote Ne Kaha ” Tumhe Pata He Hai” :d

Pyasa Kauwa Ki Kahani




Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai Kisi Jangal Main Ek Kauwa Rahta Tha
Ek Din Use Badi Jor Se Pyas Lagi.
Wah Pani Ki Talash Main Wah Bahut Door Tak Udta Raha Parantu Kahi Bhi Use Pani Nahi Mila.Jab Wah Bahut Thak Gaya To Use Akhir Main Ek Ghada Dikhai Diya Jis Main Bahut Thoda Sa Pani Tha. Jab Kauve Ne Pani Peena Chaha To Uski Chonch Pani Tak Nahi Jaa Saki. Usne Har Tarah Se Pani Peene Ki Kosis Ki Par Sab Bekar Gai. Kauva Bechin Ho Utha, Tabhi Use Ek Upaye Sujha Usne Ass Pass Se Kankad Ekatthe Kare Aur Ek Ek Karke Apni Chonch Se Ghade Main Tab Tak Dale Jab Tak Pani Upar Nahi Aa Gaya Fir Kauve Ne Jee Bhar Kar Pani Piya.

Is Tarah Kauve Ne Apni Mehnat Aur Sahanshilta Se
Apni Pyas Bujhai aur Apni Jaan Bachai!!

Boolne Wala Kutta… Funny Short Story in Hindi





Ek Dukandaar Ke Bahar Likha Tha:
“Insaano Ki Tarah Baat Karne Wala Kutta Bikau hai”



Ek Aadmi Dukandaar Se Jaakar Boola:
“Main Us Kutte Ko Dekhna Chahta Hun…”



Dukaandaar Ne Kaha:
Sath Ke Kamre Main Baitha Hai,
Jaa Kar Mil Lo!

“Aadmi Us Kamre Main Gaya. Kurshi Par Ek Hatta-Katta Kutta Baitha Tha.”

Aadmi Ne Kutte Se Pucha: Kyun Bhai, Tum Yahan Kya Kar Rahe ho?

Kutte Ne Jawab Diya: Kar To Main Bahut Kuch Sakta Hun…
Lekin Aajkal Is Dukaan Ki Rakhwaali Karta Hun. Isse Pahile America Ke Jasusi Mahakme Main Kaam Karta Tha. Aur Kai Khookhaar Aatankvaadiyon Ko Pakadwaya hai…. Fir England Chala Gaya Jahan Police Ke Liye Mukhbari Karta Tha Ek Saal Baad Yahan aa Gaya.



Us Aadmi Ne Dukandaar Se Pucha:
Etne Gunwaan Kutte Ko Aap Kyun Bechna Chahte Ho??


“Awwal Number Ka Jhuta Hai” Jawab Mila :D

Monday, April 22, 2013

Girls Be Careful




(1) What should a woman do if she finds herself alone in the company of a strange male as she prepares to enter a lift in a high-rise apartment late at night?

Experts Say: Enter the lift. If you need to reach the 13th floor, press all the buttons up to your destination. No one will dare attack you in a lift that stops on every floor.

(2) What to do if a stranger tries to attack you when you are alone in your house, run into the kitchen.

Experts Say: You alone know where the chili powder and turmeric are kept.And where the knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly weapons. If nothing else, start throwing plates and utensils all over.

Let them break. Scream. Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a molester. He does not want to be caught.

(3) Taking an Auto or Taxi at Night.

Experts Say: Before getting into an auto at night, note down its registration number. Then use the mobile to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands .Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation. The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector!

(4)What if the driver turns into a street he is not supposed to - and you feel you are entering a danger zone?

Experts Say: Use the handle of your purse or your stole (dupatta) to wrap around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked and helpless. In case you don’t have a purse or stole just pull him back by his collar. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick.

(5) If you are stalked at night.

Expert Say: enter a shop or a house and explain your predicament. If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an ATM box. ATM centers always have security guards. They are also monitored by close circuit television.

Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.

After all, being mentally alert is the greatest weapon you can ever have.

Please spread it to all those women u care & spread awareness as dis is d least we can do for a social & moral cause and fr d safety of women.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Pareshan Pappu Ki Kahani


Pareshan ''PAPPU'' ki kahani...
Pareshan thi Pappu ki wife,
Non happening thi jo uski life,
Pappu ko na milta tha aaram,
office me karta kaam hi kaam,

Pappu ke boss bhi the bade cool,
Promotion ko har baar jate bhul,
par bhulte nahi the wo deadline,
kaam to karwate the roz till nine,

Pappu bhi banana chahta tha best,
isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest,
din raat karta wo boss ki gulami,
Appraisal ke ummid main deta salami,

din guzre aur guzre fir saal,
bura hota gaya pappu ka haal,
pappu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha,
galti se biwi ko behanji kehta tha,

aakhir ek din Pappu ko samaj aya,
aur chod di usne appraisal ki moh maya,
boss se bola,''tum kyon satate ho?''
''appraisal ke laddu se buddu banate ho''

''promotion do warna chala jaunga''
''appraisal dene par bhi wapas na aaunga''
Boss hass ke bola ''nahi koi baat''
''abhi aur bhi pappus hai mere paas''

''yeh duniya pappuon se bhari hai''
''sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai''
''tum na karoge to kise aur karaunga''
''tumhari tarah ek aur pappu banaonga''


Funny Jokes



Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya, par fir bhi muje kutch nahi hua.


Banta: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi... Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya, me fir bhi bach gaya.

   ....................................................................................................................................... 


         Anath Ashram Manager to Bania:

            Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?

                       Funny Bania: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

                   ....................................................................................................................................... 


                    Teacher: Agar dharti pe pani na hota to kya hona tha.

                        Bania ka beta: Hum to kangaal ho jate. Mera bapu milk me kya milata?
                   ....................................................................................................................................... 

Beggar: Kuch khaane ko do!

Pandit: Tamatar Khao

Beggar: Roti do baba

Pandit: Tamatar Khao

Beggar: Tamatar hi khila do

Pandit's Wife: Ye Totla bolte he, Keh rahe he KAMAKAR KHAO ! 
                   ....................................................................................................................................... 

                                     Sardar Ji: Lalaji umbrella me mori hai, nayi umbrella kharid lo.

                                         Baniya: Arre, baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega!!
                     ....................................................................................................................................... 

           Teacher: Aaj tum late kyu aaye? School 7 baje shuru hota he.

              Funny Kid: Madam, Aap meri fikar mat kia karo, School shuru karwa dia karo. 
                       ....................................................................................................................................... 

               Akbar: Hamare ammi abba humse itni mohabt karte thhe,
                  ke hame sulane k lie sari sari raat jagte rehte, or hum fir b na sote the.
                Funny Birbal: Tbhi to aap eklote reh gaye huzoor. 
                      ....................................................................................................................................... 

LKG ke kid ka paper me 0 aya.

Father angry: What is this?

Very Funny Kid: Papa, teacher ke pass STAR khatam ho gaye, to MOON de diya.
                           ....................................................................................................................................... 

Film Director to Akshay Kumar: Tum ko 100 ft ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai.

Akshay Kumar: Par mere ko tairna nahi aata, mein doob jaunga.

Funny Film Director: Don't worry, pool me paani nahi hai.
                        ....................................................................................................................................... 

Bhikhari: Hello Taaj Hotel, 1 Pizza,

1 Biryani aur 1 Ras Malai Bhej Do.

Taj: Kiske Naam pe bheju, Sir?

Bhikari: Bhagwan Ke Naam Pe.!