Comedy Night With Kapil

Wife: Main driver ko naukri se nikal rahi hoon, aaj marte-marte bachi hoon

Husband: Please use ek aur mauka de do!!

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apil Sharma vs. Auto rickshaw driver:

Kapil: kitna paisa hua?

Auto wala: 30 Rs..

Kapil: Ye le 15 Rs

Auto Wala: Ye kya sirf 15 Rs.. ye to cheating hai

Kapil: Cheating kaise..Tu bhi to baith k aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap? 

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Teacher: Tum mirror ke saamne baithkar kyun padhte ho…

Kapil Junior:
Madam, Iske 3 faayde hain

1) Padhne ke liye company mil jaati hai
2) Khud par nazar bhi rehti hai
3) Saath mein revision bhi ho jaata hai

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Jo Kehte the mujhe, Dil mein tumhe lock kar diya

Jo Kehte the mujhe, Dil mein tumhe lock kar diya

Aaj ussi ne facebook par block kar diya!

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A guy from the audience says:
Ji main aapka bahut bada fan hun.
Maine aapki Saari hollywood and bollywood movies dekhi hain.
Aapke saath aapki movie ka ek step karna chahta hoon!!

Yeh baat sunkar siddhu says:
Guru,
Har Peela fruit aam nhi hota,
Glass me mut ke piyo to vo jam nhi hota,
Har sita ka pati ram nhi hota,
Thodi jeb dhili karo or uthao hotel ka kharcha,
Kyunki ye vo step hai jo khulle aam nhi hota

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Palak’s Shayari for Madhuri Dixit

Mera dhuadaar dance dekh ke
ek din aap mujhe daad doge

Mera dhuadaar dance dekh ke
ek din aap mujhe daad doge

tamma tamma loge, tamma tamma loge tamma…

Palak’s Shayari for Huma Qureshi

Thande paani se nahane se
Bachcho ko ho jaata hai pneumonia

Thande paani se nahane se
Bachcho ko ho jaata hai pneumonia

oo woomaniya, aaaa woomaniya, e-e woomaniya!

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alak’s poem for Ali Zafar who came for promotion of ‘Total Siyapa’ Movie with Yami Gautam.

Jab kadkadati dhoop mein,
Main swimming karti hoon

Jab kadkadati dhoop mein,
Main swimming karti hoon

mera rang pad jata hai kala…

(kapil: shareer ladki ka muh halwai wala)

Palak:
Panghat pe naache, nache re nache madhubala!

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Gutthi
——-
Arz thoka hai..
Tum kya keemat lagaoge is bazaar mein meri wafa ki,

Tum kya keemat lagaoge is bazaar mein meri wafa ki,

Jidhar dekho bazaar mein 50% off chal raha hai!!

Kapil
——
Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna,