Santa banta Jokes

Santa meets his friend Banta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B…!
Banta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
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Teacher: Bade ho kar tum kya karoge?
Student: Ji shaadi.
Teacher: Mera matalab, kya banoge?
Student: Ji dulha.
Teacher: Are, mera matlab hai, kya hasil karoge?
Student: Ji DULHAN.

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Krish: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!

Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?
Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.

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Laloo to his P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai?

P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye.

Laloo: Susra, ball toh pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge! 
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Ek ladki apny boy friend ke saath nayi garri main long drive per jaa rahi thi achanak raastey mein larki kehnay lagi…..“suno ! kya tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho?”

Kyu nahi.. ladke ne bade fakher se garden akraaii…
Aur phir larki ne aahista se kaha, “Toh phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf karlo”

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Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?

Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai.

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Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai, meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.

Husband: Mujhe toh yeh tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai.

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Banta mujra dekhne gaya, Sari raat mujra dekhta raha
Bai: Saheb humne aap ko khush kiya, Ab aap hamein khush karo.

Toh banta utha aur khud nachne laga.

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Pappu Pinko ko pasand karta hay, aur Pinki Pappu k bhai ko… Jab k Pappu k bhai ko Pinki ki behan achi lagti hai aur Pinki ki behan ko Pappu pasand karti hai.
Halan-k Pappu pehle hi Pinki ko chahta hai…. Ab jab-k Pinko ko Pappu acha nahin lagta aur Pappu ka bhai Pinki k liye razi nahi hay aur Pappu Pinki ki behan se pyar nahin karta jab k Pinki ki behan ko Pappu ka bhai acha nahin lagta… To ye unka personal problem hay.



Aap kyon apna dimag kharab ker rahe ho!!!
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Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?