Bollywood Jokes

Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan
Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat.
..............................................................................
Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai.
..............................................................................
Dharminder: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter….
Dharminder: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater. 
..............................................................................
Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?

1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam

2. kaho naa bukhar hai

3. TB no 1

4. Kal patient ho na ho

5. Hum blood de chuke sanam

..............................................................................
Munna Bhai nay pehlay din office khola to bara khush tha. Us ki secertary nay bataya ke bahar aik aadmi aaya hai.
Munna bara khush hua aur usay andar aanay ke liye kaha. Us ke andar aanay say pehlay Munna nay socha ke us par impression dalna chahiye aur phone utha ke batien karnay laga.
“Haan Haan! 500 rupay fees hai, apun 10 baje tak betha hai idher, is say late nahi karnay ka, apun bahut busy hai”.


Us ke baad us nay phone rakha aur aanay walay say poocha “Beth na Maamoon, apun teray liye kya kar sakta hai?”
Man: Mien yahaan phone sahi karnay aaya hoon.
..............................................................................
Girl- Today i was cooking chicken, when i added HARA DHANIYA, guess whathappened.
Boy- Pata nahi, tum batao

Girl- Chicken start dancing and singing “HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA…MAAR DAALA-ALLAAHH… 
..............................................................................
“Circuit- Bhai ye bata Akal badhi ki bhains?
Munna Bhai- Pehele apun ko date of birth bata tabhi to bataega tereku, aisehi khali peeli time khoti karta hai sala.” 
..............................................................................
“What is Ford?
Munna Bhai- Gaadi BAP aur kya?
What is Oxford?
Munna Bhai- BOLE TO Bail Gaadi BAP, itna bhi nahi janta!”
..............................................................................
“Circuit- Tu pareshan kyun hai? Munna Bhai- Sale mai bap banne wala hai!
Circuit starts dancing.
Munna Bhai- Nachna band kar sale, teri Bhabi ka bacha nahi hai.” 
..............................................................................
“Lady Dr- Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade hokar auraton ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Circuit- Bai ji aapichh wahan likhe na – Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am” 
..............................................................................
(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT : “Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.